Regrettably Selfish Desires
by L'arbre De Vie
Summary: Eventually Bella and Carlisle would realize that this inescapable desire was something larger than themselves and would no longer be ignored. Bella/Carlisle, Adult themes. Canon Universe. Please Review. Hiatus
1. An Introduction: I Put a Spell on You

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters belonging to the series. I don't even own this laptop, it owns me.

A/N - Okay, deep breath. I'm Rhyan, which is just like Ryan, with an "h", magically making it a girl's name. This is my first time writing a Twilight fic, ever. Like I won't even kid you by pretending I have tons of unposted Twilight material on my hard drive, this is it folks. I do however, have the next two chapters already banged out. I'd** really **appreciate feedback on this, tell me what you liked, tell me what didn't like -- really all of it.

Unless you want to moan about the pairing, then you can beat it! Kick rocks, Carlisle is dead sexy!

This is a bit like an introduction, not much but maybe enough to test the waters?

Anyway, your feedback would be greatly appreciated, along with any reccs to any impressive work in this fandom.

* * *

Bella

It occurred to Bella suddenly one evening that Dr. Cullen had an expressive face for a man that hid so many secrets. Pale and nearly statuesque in every angle, Carlisle Cullen was beautiful, much like her Edward. Though his eyes were now a rich amber shade that also belonged to the members of his family, Bella knew just by looking at him that his eyes had once been blue. Bright blue like cool water, dripping with life. He was no more beautiful this day than he had been any other but here as they sat in the dinning room, talking amiably amongst themselves as Bella ate, it became an inescapable and undeniable fact.

The way his eyes closed and his nose crinkled just a bit whenever he threw his head back slightly to laugh. The way he held back a chuckle at Alice's expense by pulling his rosy pink lip in between his perfectly shaped white teeth. The soft smile that tugged at the corner of his lips whenever he turned to his wife and tucked a stray wisp of russet hair behind her ear, conveying his feelings to her with more than just a touch, but silently professing his love for Esme with every second of undisturbed eye contact.

Bella had no idea what their hands did, cloaked in secrecy underneath the crisp linen covered table. She imagined they held hands, resting gently on Esme's beautiful teal skirt. Nothing tawdry or obscene, he was first and foremost a family man and his wife exuded elegance effortlessly. Bella could see that Carlisle treasured his family, he treasured his family and with and with a fresh wave of envy that tugged at her heart, she made a wish that fell upon her mind like a whisper.

_' Treasure me too.' _

And not to be mistaken in the way a father treasures his daughter, for Bella had a father of her own that suited her paternal needs just fine. No, Bella yearned to be treasured by Carlisle Cullen like a man treasures a woman. Like a man treasures _his _woman. She could imagine with great detail being held against his body, her soft heated flesh against his cooler, harder body. His hand, the same hands that now twiddled with the edge of the napkins on the table before them would press ever so delightfully into the skin of her back, His fingers would imprint themselves and make his desire known, more than just the call of the lust but the want – the need to be close. Her head would be thrown back in rapture, eyes closed gently with lips parted and waiting for his to meet her once more. The scent of their desire would be heavy in the thick air as he whispers his sweet promises of immense pleasure and completion soon to come in a smooth deep voice that wraps itself around her like the embrace of his strong arms. His lips would be pressed against her pulse that beats wildly but not in fear that he will take her life by tearing her flesh, but in fear that he would kill her this day by stopping._ Don't ever stop_. So near but still not close enough and she needed him.

'_ so much closer.' _

Bella could barely suppress her need to look away. Turning her head away as the blush bloomed across her cheeks, giving her Edward and embarrassed half smile as she inwardly berated herself for daring to have such traitorous thoughts while the love of her life sat just mere inches away from her. Though Edward was eternally frustrated by his inability to read her mind, Bella had never been more grateful. She couldn't imagine the hurt this would cause if Edward had even been allowed even a brief flicker of the carnal images that had enthralled her just moments ago.

Jasper was the first to notice it. And the smile he sent her spoke more than just his detection of her embarrassment. He looked at her and then back at Edward – knowingly. And however accurately he picked up on her feelings of pure arousal, Jasper could not have been more mistaken by assuming that these feelings were directed towards Edwards. While it wasn't often that Bella had the opportunity to prove many of the Cullen clan wrong about anything, this was one delusion she would gladly let Jasper keep. Why would he assume she would feel such such a strong want for anyone other than Dear Edward? Would would anyone assume that?

She loved him, after all. And these feelings for Carlisle, no matter how shameful and treacherous, did nothing to change her feelings for Edward. The thought of being without Edward filled her with an immediate panic. He was an attentive companion but his unwillingness to take her as his lover had left her with a resentment towards him that she desperately tried to contain. It wasn't his fault – it was fear. She knew he loved her more than his whole life and though the knowledge should have made this irrational anger dissipate, they only grew as her did her needs.

She was only human after all. She was young and this young body was filled with wants. With deeps unsettling wants that wreaked havoc upon her feelings. She had never been this overcome with such desires before but Edward had cursed her with a kiss that left her yearning.

And she would beg him no more. She couldn't stand to see the guilt on his face when he had to deny her. But she couldn't deny herself either, and these insidious feeling for the man Edward considered his father that started with brief glanced that noted with platonic admiration had developed into calculated opportunities in which she could gaze freely and undisturbed and store these precious seconds to later recall upon whenever the want became tough to bear.

Heat rose to her cheeks once more and she looked up from her plate to find Emmett smiling at her kindly, a wide grin that warmed her heart each time. "Bella." he said with some sympathy. " You don't have to be embarrassed. We know you **have** to eat."

_' Oh Emmett,' _Bella mused _' What a sweetheart.' _before inwardly thanking him for the perfectly reasonable excuse to be embarrassed. She turned to Jasper covertly, noticing his face revealed nothing though she knew for a fact he knew more than Emmett did.

"Bella!" Alice's twinkling voice chimed in with her ever dramatic outrage. "You know we don't mind sitting here while you eat!" Her amber eyes were wide with the boundless excitement that fueled her. Emmett nodded and gestured towards Esme.

"Yeah Bells!" He boomed, ignoring Bella's cringe at that horrid nickname. "Why do you think Esme made this? You don't want to hurt her feelings by not finishing this up!" To which Esme replied with a sheepish smile in Bella's direction. If she still had the ability to blush, Bella imagined Esme was just as nervous as she was.

"I—I, you're right," Bella stumbled before turning to Esme with a rueful smile. "I love it, Esme" Bella breathed. "Thank you."

Bella barely blinked at the sudden cool sensation on the back of her hand as she knew without looking that Edward had tucked her smaller warmer one into his own, stone hand. She looked up to him and smiled and he rewarded her with a crooked grin of his own. And instantly her feelings of shame had vanished, Edward could clear her mind like no other and made everything else seem trivial.

If she kept her eyes on him for the rest of the evening, Bella was sure she could survive this dinner.

"Because God forbid, Edward forgets to feed his pet." Rosalie mumbled as she tended pointlessly to her finger nails. They were probably perfect as was the rest of her but she wouldn't have been Rosalie if she'd just participated in the casual conversation like the rest of them. Bella winced softly at the remark, despite a few harmless barbs, Bella had truly believed she and Rosalie had began to make ways of progress.

She felt Edward tense immediately at her side and placed a calming hand his wrist. Not only had Rosalie not bothered to look up to see the outrage on her brother's face she had not even moved from her space, tucked in Emmett's side to see the annoyed glare he shot her himself.

"Naturally, I expect you to apologize to Bella for your rudeness, Rosalie." Esme's soft voice pierced through the silencing, bearing the motherly disappointed edge to her tone that Bella imagine Rosalie was not often addressed with. And Rosalie confirmed Bella's belief by opening both caramel eyes wide and snapping into an upright position, taking in the highly unamused faces of her family members seated around the table. Edward, in particular.

It wasn't the words, but what they meant and the implication fell on all the Cullens leaving them in a deep pensive silence.

By calling Bella his pet, Rosalie had not only demoted Bella from being less than worthy of their company as a human in her eyes but she also implied that she were something to bide Edwards times. Something he would soon grow tired of, and toss when boring.

It had made Bella feel like a burden, bothersome and unwanted.

Rosalie met eyes with Bella, and to Bella's shock, she was met with Rosalie's complete horror in the situation. If no one else, she had always counted on her husband to take her side no matter what hurtful words spewed past her pretty red lips.

" It's not like it's a secret," Rosalie began, straightening her spine before crossing her arms across her chest in clear defensive posture. "She's practically fainting and falling left and ri--"

" That's enough, Rosalie." Bella turned around to the bored voice that had interrupted Rosalie's rant to validate her actions. The first time Carlisle had ever admonished Rosalie for her comments towards Bella, his tone had been sharp and stern and not allowing for any argument. However, today his voice was calm and unamused. As he assured her one day, she did it for attention. Bella's heart fluttered at the comedic edge to his voice that screamed. "Sing a new song, Rosalie!"

Bella looked across the table and to her own horror and immense pleasure, Carlisle had flashed her a genuine grin and sealed it with a wink before turning back to Alice who continued her story of Fork's tale in which yet another student meets their ultimate social death.

But Carlisle had winked at her.

At_ her. _

"_Treasure me" _Bella pleaded silently before turning to Edward, and squeezing his hand and the guilt ate at her heart.

* * *

So there it is! I sincerely hope it interested someone. I know there wasn't much deserving of the M rating in there but all I can do is promise that is more to come.

;)

Please tell me what you think! And ask any questions you have. I won't bite, I swear.

Edward, however... no promises.

--Ry


	2. Chapter One: What Happens at The Party

A/N - Wow! I'm really pleased with my feed back and to every awesome reader that put me on the their alerts. I replied to a few of you with a review reply but just a quick thanks to you!

**xxx-Fran-Cullen-Melark-xxx-97**, **Kathy Hiester, Margarita123, Mackenzie L. , carlisle-my man, soulspirit18, Casper Bleu, Nielo, Sprazinko, duchess0amy, Nissa-Cullen, TeamJacob88, Count de Bauchery, and Rawrbeans! **

**_Thanks guys! I love you like a chubby kid loves a happy meal._**

I plan to post more personalized review replies on my live journal, the link is in homepage link in my profile and it's not friend locked so feel free to check it out!

On with the goods! Okay, I know it took me forever and a day to update but it's here. So for anyone who enjoyed the first chapter and for anyone just joining me, this is for you! Still no beta, please hang in there with me while I get my act together.

Warning: This has pretty sexy language hence the mature rating and it's only going to progress as the chapters keep coming. If that's something you're not okay with, please skip it!

And please for the sake of my filthy soul, leave me a review. I'll see that I get over 500 hits for a chapter and 14 reviews and I feel a little cheap.  
Even hookers get left a tip on the nightstand. :(

**Disclaimer:** I am but a poor fan girl. *sobs*

* * *

Bella

Chapter One: What Happens at the Party

* * *

The sounds of the sweet music in the background and the soft chatter among the guests inside the Cullen house were all very soothing that evening. So not to raise suspicions or cast themselves in a snobbish light, the Cullens invited a few members from town and their families over for a holiday party in which many invitations – to the shock of all but Esme, had been eagerly accepted. Though Esme had always been hopeful that guests would attend, the dear woman with the soft russet waves was under the impression that any of these towns people were here for anything other than satisfying their undying curiosity and this was something Bella, as a human, understood.

They exiled themselves from the town by keeping a residence a few miles outside of town. They created a shroud of mystery around themselves, though it was inescapable and probably unintentional, they attracted the very attention that they were desperate to keep away from their family.

Esme put them all hard at work to make sure house seemed neat but lived in. They spent the past three days traveling to different parts of the country and taking pictures. Now the house was lined with framed photographs that Esme and Carlisle could "show off" their children to the guests properly.

" – And here is us in Paris," Bella's ear twitched when she turned to Esme who was gesturing towards a group photo in front of a lit Eiffel tower they had taken yesterday. They were all bundled up and smiling and happily, the only one missing from the photograph was the smallest Cullen who Bella imagined had been holding the camera. "Our poor Alice came down with a stomach bug from something at that Restaurant." Esme said with a playful pout on her cranberry stained lips. She smiled at Carlisle who seemed to regard the completely fictional experience with the same amount of fondness. It was so easy for them to lie. All of them.

" I wish you could have gone with us." Bella's attention was brought back to Edward as he pulled her closer to his chest as they swayed softly together. She'd never liked to dance but in Edward's arms it feels like they'd been doing this for an eternity. The weight of his hand secured at the small of her back and the other tangled with hers, resting gently on his chest as was her cheek.

"Gone where, Edward?" She mumbled almost sleepily now as he buried his nose into her hair.

" To Paris, love." He answered, lifting his hand from hers briefly to brush away the strays strands of hair for her forehead. He was doing it again. "You could used the trip," he pressed a kiss to the temple of her head before holding her closer still. "I feel like you don't get enough air."

At this Bella snickered. " Says the man that doesn't breathe." She could feel Edward's lips form a smile against her skin.

"Oh Bella." He whispers, not bothering to disguise the crooked grin the spread across his beautiful face. " I can breathe." He pants heavily into her ear before taking in a large breath, all the while, his eyes closed gently as if cataloging the scent to memory. The feel of his flesh so close to her own coupled with Edward's proximity did Bella few favors. She could feel her heart beat spike and couldn't hide the sudden heaviness in her own breath. Her chest rising and falling just a bit faster than before but none of these indicators of her pure incitement were visible to the guest. Shielded in Edward's arms she reveled in the feel and silently cursed him for tormenting her this way.

"I just don't need to." He concluded with an amused grin, pulling away slightly. He wasn't aware of the double meaning in his words but it was all too clear to Bella who tensed in his arms, desperate to suffocate the bitter resentment that threatened to surface. No, it seemed Edward didn't _need _much.

"Something wrong, love?" He asked and the sincerity in tone made her heart ache. He really had no idea did he? Her poor Edward.

And as much as she wanted to tell herself that he was innocent in this, a dark voice in the back of her mind begged her to see reason. Edward had been 17 when he died. Did he truly have no idea what kind of torture this was? She knew it had been a different time but did a better sense of propriety equate to having a near absent libido?

Did Edward crave anything from her but her blood?

" I was just thinking about something." She forced out, wary of Jasper. She'd gotten better at concealing her true feelings, but every time she locked eyes with the honey haired vampire, his face seemed to betray her efforts. Tonight however, he allowed himself to be led at the wrist around the party by his smaller counterpart and though he appeared to be less than thrilled at the prospect of being Alice's 180 pound charm bracelet, Bella could see a small smile tug at the corner of his lips every time his eyes swept over his wife's lithe form.

He was in love with her and he desired her. The way that Emmett and Rosalie desired each other. The way that Carlisle and Esme wanted each other. And maybe that's why Alice, Rosalie and Esme were always either cheerful or appeared confident. They had not had the chance for insecurities. Their men loved them. Their men wanted them.

Couldn't get enough of them.

And that mere knowledge would be enough to keep Bella smiling for years. But it couldn't be just anyone. It had to be someone that mattered. Because as of now, the only man that desired her other than Mike Newton happened to be the large balding man that greeted her with a leer and a suspicious grin every time he bagged her groceries in the the town market.

"What were you thinking about?" Edward placed a finger beneath her chin and gently led her back to him, as her eyes strayed to the other side of the room. Her eyes often chose odd paths whenever she was deep in thought and although Rosalie was now shooting her a death glare for having the audacity to gaze upon her loveliness for what was probably minutes, Bella was just glad she had not been caught staring in Carlisle's direction.

"Just school." And as natural as this rolled off her lips, Bella had in all actuality spent hours going over this plan the night before. Followed by hours spent in guilt for even daring to consider betraying Edward. But she had reached her limits with her self control. It seemed involuntary now. All Bella could do was think of ways to get herself in _his _orbit.

What ways she could invent to bring herself into Carlisle's presence. And this idea seemed almost too easy to ignore. It was innocent yet it didn't demand Carlisle. Not unless he wanted to.

Injuring herself, no matter how effective. Would only force his hand. But this? He would come to her with interest. Not because he feared what the loss of her life would do to Edward, but because he wanted to help her with something. He wanted it.

_Please let him want me. _

"We don't have any pressing assignment's Bella," Edward pressed a kiss to her hand and lifted her onto his feet before swaying them to one of Esme's favorite love songs. It was a light tune and brought a smile to Esme's face the minute it filled the room. And Bella wished she could close her eyes and lean back into Edward's chest and enjoy the beauty of the moment the way she had just moments ago but she was already lost. She could not take her mind off of Carlisle and she would think of nothing else this night.

"I know, I-- I just-" she cleared her throat, and prayed Edward would think she was only nervous and not nervous and plotting.

"Yes?" He prompted, lifting her to his level. Her foot wasn't broken anymore but this was the only way she would dance with him. And although ordinarily she loved nothing but being his arms, she didn't think she could bare to look him in the face tonight. Even if he couldn't read her mind, he ought to have been able to read it in her face.

Plain as day, Edward. Plain as day.

"I was thinking about going to medical school." She breathed, staring up from the white buttons on his oxford shirt. He didn't look so pale in white. Not as pale as he looked when he wore black. "I was thinking maybe Jasper or Carlisle could maybe help me out with it."

"Bella," Edward set her down gently and put a few inches of space between them as a small smile cracked it's way on to his beautiful stone face. So beautiful it made her heart ache.

"Bella," he repeated. "does this mean you're going to wait?" He whispered. " Does this mean you'll give me a few years?"

" I just want you to be happy." and for a minute it didn't feel like a lie. "If you promise that when the times comes, you wont hesitate. I will give _us _a few more years." She did want Edward to be happy. But it just so happened that Edward wasn't the reason for this epiphany.

"But medical school, Bella? You faint at the sight of your own blood."

"I know, but what a better way to desensitize myself to it before I start to crave it?" She whispered.

"Great plan."

"I know, I said the same thing to Jasper when he thought of it."

"Jasper's going to Medical school?" Edward scanned the room for the wild haired vampire to find him still leeched to his sister's side with the same faint smile still just barely on his lips.

"Don't you read minds?" Bella smirked as Edward pulled her back up into his arms. She loved his strength and how weightless he made her feel. She had never been even remotely heavy and Bella imagined she never would if everything went according to plan. After all, she had never seen an overweight vampire.

"I can," the smug attitude he had in regards to the necessity for breathing had returned although this time did not have to force the smile that came. "But I don't need to."

"So what do you think?" She asked him timidly. Would he mind? After all, Edward had just completed a medical degree before relocating to Forks.

"I think you'd make a great doctor."

"No I mean, me going to school with Jasper and Rose instead of law with you and Emmett?"

"Bella, I won't go to Yale if you're not going to be there." And she felt a twinge of frustration leak from Edward. And apparently that twinge was enough to finally attract the attention of the empath that had been otherwise engaged. Bella turned to Jasper and he rewarded with nudge of the head towards Edward.

He meant to be supportive as he had already told her as they decorated this morning that Edward would not be immediately receptive to separating.

"But Edward, I'll be attending NYU and you graduated from there less than four years ago." Bella explained, not very attentive to her volume as she had already attracted the attention of Rosalie, Emmett and Alice as well as Jasper.

"They have a medical program in Yale." Edward cleared his throat, aware of his families stares and composed himself, his hands bruising the skin at her back but she wouldn't guilt him. She could tell by the way his golden eyes seemed almost frosty now that he was already taking great measures to keep his temper in control.

"Edward,--"

"Mind if I cut in, son?" Bella and Edward turned to find Carlisle less than a foot away with an open palm outstretched. And although his tone had been polite and gentle, his face gave no indication that this had been a request. With as much grace as a Bella could muster, which to the shock of no one, was not much, she pulled herself out of Edward's arms to his immediate displeasure.

"Bella and I were discussing--"

"Yes, we heard." Carlisle sighed before taking Bella's hand into his own, blissfully unaware of the heat that surfaced to her face.

_Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, Jasper._ Bella warned herself._ Keep it nervous. Keep it nervous. _Because nervousness she could explain if asked.

Without turning to face Edward, Carlisle had pulled Bella into his arms, but maintained a respectful distance. "Your mother would like a word with you." Carlisle's tone was disappointed. And Bella worried that she had angered him by speaking so loudly of things that could endanger their whole family.

"I'll be back, Bella." Edward all but groaned before turning towards Esme. Edward had a smile he reserved just for her and the minute he saw her, she sent one his way. Everyone was so mindful of tender heart Esme. Bella couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at the way Edward swept her to him, wordlessly and hung on every word she said, as she no doubt reprimanded him for their near scene.

Bella imagined she was next.

Her heart beat faster.

" Bella, I hear from Jasper you want to attend medical school." And faster.

" It was something I was just thinking about." She whispered as if embarrassed she had the audacity to ever dream of becoming a physician. And in all seriousness she had no desire to be a doctor. She just wanted to go to medical school. In theory

"Bella, you don't need to be shy." His tone had that amused edge again that made her heart melt, and he pulled her closer in efforts to get her to look him in the eye. "I think it's great that you want to learn."

" I'm not shy, I'm just--."

"Well, you're blushing." He stated very matter of factually.

"I'm not-- I mean. I'm just not a good dancer." she admitted, hesitantly. Bella looked up at him to find his look to be one of both amusement and pity.

Great. She was a joke to him.

"Nonsense." He smiled before pulling her onto his feet as Edward had done. " All little girls dance on their father's feet."

And if could have cried right there, she would have. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. And all the while she was pressed so close to him. And Bella imagined she indeed did look like a little girl dancing with her father. She small and skinny and the bow in her curled hair that Alice had insisted upon did nothing to convey the older and attractive Bella image she was trying to convey. It was a soft baby blue like the skirt she wore that reached a few inches above her knees. Alice had left her alone in Forever 21 with a task and this skirt with a simple long sleeved white v-neck is what she chose, paired off with flat black Mary Janes.

Yes, she imagined she did look very much like a little girl.

And to her knowledge, Carlisle had no fetish for little girls.

Why did he do this to her? Hold her so tightly just the way she wanted only to slip a knife between her ribs with his words. She didn't want to be his daughter. She wanted him. And she was close. She could feel his solid body against hers as he danced with her. He grip was strong but did not bruise her like Edward. He seemed relaxed to and to be enjoying himself. He was more experienced and this wasn't torture for him.

For Edward and Bella, they were always in torture together. One of out of self restraint and one out of a desperate need. And torture can only be fun if someone is in control.

"What kind of field did you want to specialize in?" Carlisle asked, oblivious to the conflicting emotions that raged inside the tiny human in his arms.

" I'm not sure." She mumbled. Where were her words? Why couldn't she think. What could she do about this fog in her mind.

"Not yet."

"I was thinking about becoming a general surgeon. They make a lot of money. Don't they?" Bella asked, trying desperately not to think of how close the hand on her back was dangerously close to grazing the side of her breast. Her breath hitched. _Just an inch further._

"Well it's not all about money Bella." He warned with a gentle smile before dipping her quickly earning a giddy laugh from his soon to be daughter in law. Bella clung to his shoulders as he returned her to an upright positions, unintentionally sliding her down the front of body as she resumed her position on the floor.

Bella shuddered. All she could think of was the way his hard body felt rubbing against her own. The rough feel of his dark pants against her bare legs. And for a minute she _imagined_ how delicious it would feel to simply raise her legs and hook them together behind his back and have him hot and heavy and in between her. His face pressed into the crook of her neck with her mouth frozen open in a silent scream as her fingers tangled into his hair. She could almost feel his fingers splayed across her thighs taking in as much skin as they can on their hike up the edge of her skirt. Oh, this ache. And he was so close.

_I feel everything._

She felt everything. And she realized her mistake just a second too late. She pulled her thighs together the minute she felt the soft cotton panties beneath her skirt dampen. And he stilled. Vampires had better vision, better hearing.

Better everything.

And even she could smell it. The soft peppery scent of her heat. The scent of her purse unadulterated lust that was now so intense that it damn near flowed from her. And in her anxiety to soothe some of the pressure, she rubbed her legs together again. She could do nothing else. She was the on the edge of something and needed something she could not name.

And Bella felt the arms around her tense. Carlisle had not been human in some time. Bella knew vampires were not excluded from this biological reaction, but surely the scent was different. She couldn't dare look him in the eye.

"Bella?"

_Oh no. Oh no. _

"I'm really tired, I think I'm going to lie down." She pulled herself out of his arms quickly. Carlisle's expression was sympathetic and his eyes bore into hers with understanding.

_No no no no no _Bella wanted to scream.

"Bella, you can ta--"

"I'll take her to Edward's room." Both Bella and Carlisle snapped their head's around to find Jasper standing beside them. Alice still entertaining guests just a few feet away, spared Bella a knowing look that was filled with the same compassion.

Bella wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Jasper had been bad enough.

"Thank you." Bella whispered before taking proffered arm and allowing Jasper to escort her upstairs. From across the floor, Edward made a move a to break away from Esme until Carlisle simply shook his head.

" Not now." He whispered in a tone he knew Edward would hear over the chatter across the room as he cut his way through the guests. Bella needed to clear her head, Carlisle sighed. The poor girl.

Back in the hall outside of Edward's bedroom, Jasper opened the door for Bella who had her arms wrapped around her almost protectively. Her neck to her chest and her eyes down cast.

"Alice think it's cruel for Edward to get you so worked up." Jasper's tone was soft and unassuming.

But Bella wasn't stupid.

"And what do you think?" She countered, daring to look up into his eyes. The only thing she knew as of now was that Alice didn't know her secret. Carlisle might be on to her and Edward didn't have an inkling. But Jasper?

"I know better."

And that was all the confirmation she needed.

Jasper knew everything. And if not, he was close enough.

* * *

So how was it? I know, I know but they're getting there.

We've got to get Carlisle on board too!

Please leave me some awesome feedback! It really helps me bang these chapters out!

Love you tons!

-- Ry.


	3. Chapter Two: It's Bad Blood

A//N - You don't have to tell me. I already know. And to make up for the fact that I'm an incredible tool, this chapter is twice as long and includes a steamy Bella and Carlisle moment, among other things.

This is me on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness. I wish I had a really good reason for why this chapter was so late, but all I can say is that I've been really busy. I swear!

Here comes the credits!

Thanks a million to:

**carlisle-my man, Sarah Victoria Cullen, Cullens Darlin, nukemlee, lovingshewolf, Sunshineflwr, bcgal737, HellsBells84, ,**

**butterflykiss69, angelofchaos, sweetiiey, Nissa-Cullen, Knitchick, Genoire, and Opium Cakes!**

**Thanks so much for reviewing Chapter One, I love you like monkeys love bananas! **

And thanks for adding me and this story to all sorts of lists, I really appreciate it. And It would be really freakin sweet if you left a review after reading this chapter. I spent a lot of time on it and I really would like to hear your thoughts! Or if you want to tell me I'm a witch with a capital B for taking so long to update -- I completely understand, just so long as you let me know if this makes up for it?

I'll put up my personalized review replies up later on my LiveJournal (Link in profile) and maybe I can share a few of my ideas with you guys in a review reply? Would that be something anyone is interested in? Let me know.

Disclaimer- I am but a poor fangirl, *sobs*

**WARNING!** -- Very Mature, get down or get out!

* * *

_Chapter Two : Bad Blood_

_Esme_

The click of tiny heels could be heard through out the vast and nearly empty Cullen house as Esme made haste towards the back door. Her eyes ever aware of the shiny silver watch on her wrist as she mentally calculated the amount of time she had for all of Today's tasks. Almost without thought, the petite vampire pulled her russet waves neatly into an elastic band and leaped gracefully down in to the mossy yard.

Rosalie and Emmett would be home first and she had yet to finish their laundry. With determination she headed towards the woods, a pleasant smile on her face as she thought of how grateful her children would be for their surprise. Her arms pumped energetically at her sides and her stride never faltered by the rough terrain of the woods under her tiny cobalt blue heels. Her black pencil skirt, only slightly rumpled and her shirt missing.

This would be rather messy anyway, Esme noted to herself reassuringly. Completely unaware of the biting cold that nipped at her bare marble skin, The black lace bra serving as the only means of preserving her modesty. It was hardly lady like but she would be quick.

She could hear their heart beats now, she grimaced inwardly at the thought of having to damage these shoes and sincerely hoped the does grazing peacefully wouldn't give her too much trouble. She moved almost like water through a stream as she floated towards them, silent and gentle.

There were three of them, munching happily on the last of the greens that were low enough for them to reach before the winter would seize them all. Esme crouched low at the bush, a predatory glint shinning in her eyes like marigold. There was one with a white patch on her ear.

She would call her Caroline.

If she were like any of her boys, she'd jump out snarling but it was a good thing she had timed this well enough to execute it properly. She had approximately six minutes to bring this sweet doe back to the house before she needed to tend to the laundry.

Those silly boys, exerting all that energy.

Esme smiled before slowly revealing herself from behind the shrubbery where the dear ate happily. Their mocha brown coats still soft and silky from the past summer's foliage, the berries from the branches sweetening their blood nicer than any saccharine she could remember. She tilted her head to the side sympathetically and smiled at the deer, baring her hand gently, like a child would at a petting zoo, all the while mesmerizing the poor woodland creature.

The deer allowed her touch almost as if enchanted, blissfully unaware that it's companions had abandoned her.

No, it wasn't everyday that Esme had the time to seduce her prey like this but she needed this to be as neat as possible. Esme's dainty fingers smoothed themselves along the doe's delicate ears sliding down gracefully before resting at it's neck.

"Good girl." She whispered and with a snap, she twisted the neck in her small hand as if it were a rolled up newspaper. The heart beat stopped and the poor beast hung heavily in her hand. Her eyes widened at the tiny drop of blood that had sprayed from it's mouth and on onto her chest, she raised her nose to the air, her eye lids dropping almost dreamily as she inhaled the sweet flowery scent.

Yes, her children would be pleased indeed. Their eyes had been looking all rather dark this week. Some more than others.

Straightening her shoulders, Esme turned back for the Cullen house with the treat for her children in tow. The free arm at her side, wobbling only slightly to maintain balance as she found that unless she carried the beast on her back, there would be no graceful way to do this quickly.

And her motto had always been, slow and steady wins the race. And now matter how often she told her boys and girls, they never seemed to take her seriously.

No matter. She had all but perfected her solution for removing blood from their soiled clothing.

Upon reaching the garage, Esme slapped the door operator and dragged the deer from behind her. Almost as if afraid to touch the poor animal more than necessary, Esme lifted her from the ground and held her out a few feet away from her as if she weighed nothing.

"Come now, Caroline." She tsked before placing her on the metal table gently, without a thud.

With a heavy sigh, Esme dusted her hands together before placing them on her lips and for a second admired her handiwork. Carlisle would no doubt be less than pleased that she risked going out hunting alone, but he always underestimated her. Only for her protection's sake of course, she smiled fondly at the thought of her husband. What a loving man.

But she'd already done it and there would be no point to dwell on it and that was exactly what she would tell him should he choose to make an issue of it when he returned.

In.... Esme glanced at her shinning watch, approximately three hours. She glanced down at her exposed chest.

_Dear me_, she sighed, there was certainly more to do then.

Summoning back her determination, Esme reached high on her tip toes for the great metal blade on the wall before turning to the fallen deer with a solemn expression.

"And Jesus said, : This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

Esme swung the knife over her head, "Forgive me, Father."

_-------------------_

_Bella and Jasper_

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bella fidgeted nervously at Jasper's side. Their relationship had escalated from the mere amiable acquaintances they once were to now a blossoming friendship that Bella dared say rivaled hers with Alice. But no matter how close they'd become in the weeks since the night they'd affectionately referred to as _"The Incident."_ they'd never lost their awkward footing.

"I've smelled it before Bella," Jasper groaned, trying to convey the confidence he didn't feel from her despite the nervous twitching he was doing on his own. "Just not on the first day." He added weakly.

"This could be dangerous." Bella froze, mentally rewinding Jasper's last statement that had all but fallen on deaf ears as she was enthralled by her own mental ravings. " Wait."

Bella shook her head and then turned to Jasper slowly, one eye brow raised in what she was not sure was shock, curiosity or outrage. Her mouth slightly agape in silent question.

"You really want to know?"

So it had been curiosity, mostly.

"It involves pilfering your bathroom." He deadpanned before turning to face her as well, his eyes unconsciously falling into her lap. Bella pressed her knees even tighter together as a blush rushed to her cheeks.

"I trust you Jasper, I just don't want Edward to kill you." Yes, Bella rationalized. Let Jasper think the fear was for his safety and not her own. She was scared but she also knew Jasper wouldn't do this if he didn't believe he could handle it.

"He won't kill me, Darlin'." Jasper cleared his throat and took a deep breath "because nothing is going to happen."

Bella watched him warily. Now matter how often she changed or bathed, for this entire week she would be able to smell the coppery stench of her own blood for hours within her own nose. She was so sensitive to the odor that she couldn't for the life of her fathom how Jasper was managing this feat.

She'd felt it earlier in English class. The way it dribbled softly down her thigh, leaving only a dark damp stain in her black boy shorts. She'd never been able to properly calculate the day the way other girls she knew had always managed. It was not always a pleasant surprise and more often than not it resulted in her quickly zipping to the infirmary, with her sweatshirt pulled down past her rear to hide the dark red patch on the back of her faded blue denim jeans.

But today, in English glass she'd been grateful for the black cigarette jeans Alice had gifted her with would not stain however, the reaction of her boyfriend left much to be desired. His eyes widened and he tensed like a board.

A big, made of marble, gargoyle like board.

"Bella." A heavy hand on her knee brought her back to the task at hand. She turned to Jasper who's honeysuckle eyes seemed to be pleading with her. " I need the resistance of Carlisle."

"But he's MUCH older than you Jasper. I'm sure it didn't happen over night." And she wanted to add that she was sure he didn't train himself with live, menstruating human's either.

"It's not even all pure blood, It's also uterine lining and tissu--"

"Gross, Jasper. I don't care what it is."

"Gross? – It's **your** uterus."

"I don't want to talk about my reproductive organs anymore."

"I thought you wanted to help me desensitize myself to blood."

Bella sighed defeated and loosened her knees just a fraction.

"There," She turned to him watching his face carefully for any reaction and he regarded her mere boredom and and expression that indicated he was less than amused with her approach at helping him. He felt it would now be prudent to remind her that had actually been her idea. "Can you smell it?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "I could smell it all morning. I'm asking for a more concentrated sample, Honey."

And she'd known immediately by the way his eyes widened, that this had not been a thought out plan. Their warm sunrise hue had faded into thin gold rings that encompassed inky black irises. _Jasper, are you there_? The heavy hand on her knee slithered up her thigh and Bella gasped. Although Bella was sure he thought he was not applying much pressure, the forced nearly pulled her locked legs apart. She held back a scream. She would only agitate him further with her terror.

Be still my beating heart.

As he'd told her earlier, _only his prey feared him_. And he would pick up on the fear that seized her heart if she could not manage to slow it down. Instead she would feel something else. She was not his prey.

Don't let him make you his prey.  
Feel something else.

'You'd better mind me, honey.' He mumbled in a voice not his own. Or at least not in any pitch she'd ever heard it before. She would mind him. She would do anything he asked for she feared he would not be as kind if he had to ask her again.

Feel _anything_ else.

He would feel anything she felt and anxiety would make things worse. She realized this was a part of Jasper she did not know but in order to survive this encounter she would need to be smart.

The hand slid lower to the heated center of her lap.

Eyes wide.

_Relax, relax, relax. _She reminded herself that Jasper didn't want to hurt her, he only wanted to... smell her.  
"Easy now Jasper." She whispered to him as she gently placed a hand of her own over his wandering one. He slid from the step they sat on to the hard wood floor before her and Bella bit back a terrified whimper.

**Relax relax relax**, she reasoned with herself, careful of her panting breath as both his hands pulled her legs apart.

This did not need to be unpleasant but her options were limited. She would make him feel something else.  
And the moment he pressed his fine and angular nose against the innards of her thigh, Bella knew immediately what she would make him feel.

And then he Inhaled, deep.

Bella's breath froze as she forced every heated memory to her mind. Every millisecond in her life that had ever left her beautifully breathless she forced upon herself, and in effect, Jasper.

Heart beats, a groan.

And maybe his blood lust would turn to a lust of a different kind. It would be easier to fend him off once the desire to murder and feed from her was gone.

He was lost in the scent, she could feel it in his heavy bruising touch and in the way his nose brushed along the inseams of her jean. His eyes closed with his a small smile on his parted lips and he took deep gulping breaths of her air in and relished each drag like an addict and his nicotine.

And she was like the most heavenly tobacco he'd ever had the pleasure of taking into his lungs.

"Bella" and now there was an edge to his voice, a delicious pleading edge to his voice and Bella nearly forgot herself.

Too much desire, too much heat.

His thumbs rubbed circles into her inner thighs as he knelt before her, breathing deep as if enchanted. His nose rubbing mercilessly over her sensitive flesh through the the thin denim of her jeans. Every turn of his face earning him a horrifyingly delighted gasp.

The blond head between her legs only made her think of Carlisle which would do nothing to decrease the amount of lust coursing through her veins. And although part of her wanted nothing more than allow Jasper to rip out the seat of these jeans,

This wasn't him.

This wasn't her.

"Jasper!" And it was a shriek that didn't have a chance of delivering the stern tone she'd hoped for.

"Yes, Baby." He mumbled, less than half listening as he buried his face closer still. The contours of his face providing Bella with a lovely friction. She could almost feel his lips as his hands slid to her waist, sliding over her warm skin, creeping just an inch beneath the hem of her T-shirt. Bringing her closer and holding her to him like a man who could do nothing else. Bella felt her eyes roll to the back off her head briefly before she blinking wildly.

And she wondered just how deeply he would burrow himself if she didn't stop him.

_Stop him, Bella. Stop him._

"Jasper, enough." She managed in a stricter tone receiving only an angered hiss as her reply.

"Calm down Jasper,"she pleaded, willing her hands to push his head away no matter how badly he tempted her to pull him closer. It was his lust, he was pushing it on to her and it would fade the minute he came to his senses. " The experiment is over."

And perhaps it was the clinical feel of the word, 'experiment.' But something clicked.

The squeezing hands on her hips halted.

His head had stopped moving.

Bella slowly released his wild golden locks from their prison in her fingers and dared to look down to find that Jasper had brought himself away from the crotch of her jeans a few inches. Not nearly enough to be respectful but far enough for Bella to summon her last bits of control.

"Jasper."

And before she could blink, he was sitting beside her again on the step. Her legs had been snapped close by a force she had not witnessed and her southern companion fell silent. The sudden emptiness she felt as Jasper had left her emotions and taken his own back with him surprised her.

And the "only human" argument was becoming pathetic to her own ears.

"I smelled it." He said, finally.

Bella sighed and turned to him unable to think of any witty reply, nor did she feel comfortable joking. "Yeah." She added, lamely.

"Nothing happened."

"I was there."

"Right."

"Right."

A beat …

"Why are_ you _so awkward right now?" Jasper eyes narrowed almost at her audacity.

"You're right, I have no idea why. I mean I usually only have men sniff my vagina on Monday--"

"I did not sniff--"

"---I mean, forgive me. This being Wednesday and all, I'm a little thrown--"

"You're being a little dramatic don't you--"

"Think? Absolutely not." Bella scoffed. "Otherwise I wouldn't have let that happen."

Jasper folded his arms across his chest and swiveled his body to face Bella's profile completely. To which she in turn responded by swinging one leg over and squaring her body to face his, her face tilted forward and one eye brow raised with every bit of inquisitive wonder as Jasper's.

"Don't give me the eyebrows, you just Rode 'em cowgirl on my face."

"Not exactly the way I remember it, Tex."

…. A beat

Bella took Jasper's silence as a victory.

Jasper stood from the dust wooden steps and brushed off the back of his dark denim jeans with a sigh and extended his hand to Bella, lifting her straight off the floor, like a rag doll.

They walked down the winding halls of the Cullen house in silence, every step made with effort to leave the moment behind them. Bella made several observations about her wild haired companion. He was taller than Edward. The black military boots he wore were actually Prada despite the sloppy way his dark jeans were tucked inside them and the fact that they had not been laced to the very top properly. And for a man who did not need to shower, through his simple black thermal shirt she could smell cologne.

And he sighed an awful lot for a man who did not need to breathe.

"Maybe we go in town and see the Last Song?" Bella asked as they reached the living room, they'd given themselves plenty of time to come back from what they would no doubt call "The Incident, Pt. II"

"I think I told you the last time you asked that I'd rather not."

"Aren't you supposed to be a gentleman?" And to her question, Jasper shrugged in response.

"It's mostly for Alice's benefit and she's not back from New York for a few days." He smiled, pleased with his ability to be annoying. Bella's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest before quickening her pace to the living room before plopping herself unto the plush tan sofa with grace that only a true Bella Swan could manage.

"Well, I can't wait till she's back either." She replied bitterly, never pausing to look at him as she pulled out her cell phone to check for texts from Edward.

"Hello, Dears." Bella jumped at the sound of the new voice to find that Esme was only a foot away bearing two thermoses, one black and one silver and the smile full of affection that almost made Bella weak in the knees.

She really wished Esme would find a different mate and make things simply easier for all parties involved. God it would be so much harder to hate someone who was so nice and loving.

Not impossible. Just,** hard**.

"Esme, how are you?" Bella managed pleasantly, feeling Jasper's dark, knowing, penetrating stare just burning on her neck. Bella internally cursed him, it didn't matter what she was feeling, she was acting sweeter than a summer peach and that's all that mattered.

"I'm well, Honey." Her smile and eyes brightened, her eyes almost never seemed to go dark the way she'd seen Rosalie's go after neglecting to feed herself properly. She seemed to glow simply out of the pleasure of the fact that Bella had inquired about her. It took so little to make her happy. Everything about her was perfect. Her crisp white oxford shirt crisp and seemed brand new and it was tucked into her navy blue pencil skirt that hugged and reached respectfully above her knees. There wasn't a wrinkle on her. And from what Bella could tell, her neat appearance was just a reflection of her personality.

Beautiful.

And Bella shortly found that she would probably hate herself at a critical amount before she ever managed to hate Esme.

"This is for you." Esme handed Bella the silver thermos that was warm to the touch but comfortable enough for her weak little human hands to handle. "It's hot chocolate!" She sing-songed to Bella before reaching over and tucking a messy strand of Bella' hair behind the small human's ear affectionately.

And she did it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

" Thank you, Esme." Bella whispered in gratitude before holding the warm silver cup to her chest, smiling to herself.

It was moments like this that she missed Rene. Although reckless at times, Bella could not think of an other person, aside from Esme who knew how to lay down the love, and thick.

"And you!" She turned to Jasper with the black thermos. "This is for you, young man." He accepted the thermos mutely before looking to her for explanation.

"It's deer,--"

And as if on cue, Jasper groaned. He'd always been more of a mountain lion man, himself.

"Now, now." Esme admonished before dropping her hands to her hips. Bella missed the way Jasper's eyes had widened.

This was her_ Mother Meant Business_ stance and Bella had been well accustomed to her own mother's similar disciplinary posture.

"I know you don't like it in a cup, but your eyes are looking a little dark today, Sweet Pea." She removed her hands from her hips with a sigh and smile and placed a loving hand on Jasper's cheek, earning another glare from the taller vampire.

"Drink it, it's good for you." She patted his cheek. "And I warmed it up to 98.6, just the way you like it." And with that she turned to Bella with a smile and a wink.

Bella gave a soft chuckle before yawning.

"Dear, Edward won't be back from tutoring for an hour or so, why don't you go on up to your room and take a nap." And although it did indeed sound like a question, no matter how soft the tone was, Esme had not inflected up towards the end of her statement which gave Bella reason to believe that in reality this was not an actual request.

And Esme hardly ever insisted, but when she did Bella was certain she received little objections.

"Sure, I'll go up in a bit."

"Good." Esme smiled before turning to Jasper. "I could use your help with something in garage after you take Bella up." And with a swivel of her tiny heels she clicked back towards the kitchen, no doubt scrubbing down a mess that only she could see as she kept the Cullen house clean and spotless with diligent effort.

"What if Edward sees?" Bella took a deep gulp of her hot chocolate, watching Jasper expectantly. He hadn't taken his eyes of the mug nor taken the look of sheer loathing of it. Bella barely suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.

"Don't be a baby, Jasper." Bella sat up straighter, subconsciously adopting Esme's posture. "She said drink it while it's warm."

"I'm not drinking this while you're here."

"Why not? I'm not a deer."

"Don't worry he won't see anything."

"Smooth, and why not?"

"Don't you worry about the blood," Jasper shook his head, annoyed, before setting the warm thermos on the cherry wood coffee table. "And Edward won't see anything because my eyes were closed."

Bella blushed.

"It's not like I could see your eyes." Bella grumbled weakly.

"That's bold, maybe you do need a nap. I like you better shy."

"Great, because I like you better as a gentleman so maybe you should take a nap too." Bella crossed her arms over her chest and shot off the chair before heading towards the stair case, keeping her eyes trained on the colorful graduation caps.

"And I would think the reason for my crankiness would be fairly obvious by now. I'm only human and this happens every month."

And Jasper had the grace to be embarrassed.

"I just need to feed. I apologize, Bella. I didn't mean to act like Emmett."

"Emmett would be a welcome distraction, I could use a bear hug."

"Hell, Bella. I know I've been a snot all day but I could give you a hug."

Bella sniffed at this admission and although she felt she'd already invoked enough guilt from him, there was a stubborn and sure to be emotionally unsound part of her hormone wrought brain that insisted she let him suffer a bit more before she folded.

"I'd like my nap now." She spared him a blank stare and he followed her mutely up the stairs with his head hung.

"Whatever you want, Darlin'."

Okay, she decided.

She was over it now.

She was quick and from five steps above she leaped into his arms, and no matter how many times she'd been held by Edward, she was never quite prepared for the solidness of these creatures. She fell into his arms and he caught her effortlessly, her feet dangling from their dramatic height differences and buried her face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm so crazy!" She hiccuped with some hysteria in her voice.

Jasper smiled and wrapped a strong arm across her back holding her head to his shoulder before whispering in her ear with the same high pitched hysterical tone.

"I know!"

_----------------_

_Bella_

So not to be presumptuous, Esme had designed her a bedroom of her own. It was beautifully furnished with dark wood pieces and painted various earth tones and along the east wall the windows were lined with heavy white drapery. She'd been given a television that she had yet to use and a closet of clothing supplied by Alice that she would more than likely never wear.

Her bed was her favorite part, it was much larger than her small twin at Charlie's house. It had full fluffy down blankets and the sheets always felt cool and clean and smelled fresh as if Esme washed them every morning.

Sleep came to her easily in this bed, no matter if Edward was there to stroke her hand or brush away the hair from her face. Bella burrowed herself into the blankets and lay her head down, her heated cheek grateful for the cool cotton slip on her pillow.

And sleep came, easily.

_And as quickly as the sleep came, Bella felt herself being ripped from the lulling warmth of her dreamless sleep at the creaking sound of the heavy wooden door at her back. She slept on her side and faced the window, barely able to open her eyes or roll herself in her sleep, Bella sunk deeper into the mattress and sighed. _

_'Don't forget to close the door, Edward.' she mumbled sleepily at the sound of soft foot falls coming from the door. She stretched a little and smiled at her new found freedom, her jeans and sweatshirt had been removed and she left in a breathable black cotton slip. _

_She would thank Alice later, right after she woke up from this nap. _

_Sleep came easily in this bed. _

_The door closed and Bella smiled softly, her eyes still heavy with sleep as she felt the bed dip beside her. _

_She always slept better when Edward was here. _

_Something about Edward smelled different this evening, clean like antiseptic. Perhaps he'd brought a bit of the library home with him this evening. Public air conditioning did give a building a funny smell. _

_'Has your afternoon been stressful, love?' _

_Bella's eyes widened at the hand that smoothed it's way up her shoulder. _

_Neither the voice nor hand belonged to Edward. _

_'Edward?' she forced herself onto her back, leaning over on her elbow to find herself looking into the eyes of none other than Dr. Cullen. There was no smile on his face, but the glint of one in his bright molten gold eyes. Bella scrambled to sit up straighter before his strong hand came to rest on the flat of her collar, pushing her body back down in the mattress. _

"_I know the nature of your thoughts, Bella." Her heart raced as he traced the contours of her face with his fingers, lovingly. His eyes dropped to the quick rise and fall of her chest with every panting breath. Her eyes fluttered. _

_How did he get here? What was the meaning of this? And what could she do to stop him? _

_Would she stop him? _

_He closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, purposely avoiding her searching lips. One hand was tucked underneath his chin, propped up on his elbow, laying on his side. His eyes sweeping over her mercilessly and without shame. The other hand skating up and down her body. _

"_Carlisle," she panted as his fingers slithered their way down the valley between her breath and kisses slid down, moist and passionately down her neck. "Why?" she forced as her eyes rolled furiously in her skull. _

"_You want me to." He looked into her eyes and brushed his nose to hers, bumping them gently, teasingly. She would raise her head, lips wet and parted and ready to receive him only to have him pull away with a smirk. And he smiled good-naturedly before lowering his lips to her collar bones and she released a breath she'd forgotten she'd been holding. _

"_No, I want--" His thumb drifted lower to the stiff peaks of her breasts through the thin cotton nightgown. "Edward." she breathed as she tried to twist and turn herself away. Blood rushed to the surface of her skin and the heat of her breath seemed to stifle the room until the four walls themselves seemed to be unbearably hot. _

_Her fingers clenched themselves in the white sheets. He pressed himself closer, the hand that had been teasing her now cupped her breast fully in his hand and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth in order to keep the tortured moans from escaping. _

"_Fine," Carlisle panted before lowering the thin cotton strap from her pale shoulder. "Then I will give you what you need." and his mouth descended upon her, feasting ravenously upon her breast. She screamed. Fire shot between her legs and she felt the skin between her thighs dampen as he continued his ministrations._

_This had been all she wanted. _

"_Take this." _

_And so she did. _

"_Ah." she sighed heavily, her fingers woven into his neat blond locks as his tongue now laved the neglected nipple with the same treatment. He was now on top of her, she could feel the girth of his hardness resting on her hips and she reveled in the way his weight fell upon her. _

"_Car--" But she could not speak, the pressure inside was building. Her thighs rubbed themselves together in order to soothe the tension but nothing helped. _

_It was building, this ache. _

_Oh, this ache. _

_He'd parted her thighs, spread them apart so impossibly wide that she shuddered at the exposure. She could feel him fully now. Teasing her with gentle thrusts of his hips against her trembling sex. And with every delicious grind of his hips she released a breathy gasp and bared her neck further, arched her back further. _

"_Bella" He groaned, as she tightened her legs around his waist. She needed him closer. _

_She would have him closer. _

"_Is Edward, the one you want __**now**__?" And his tone seemed not to be out of malice or spite, it seemed desperate for something. Longing for something. _

_No, No, No, No. _

"_Edward." she moaned, unable to fathom how she could manage to feel this heart break while this man set her body on fire this way. She rolled away from him, back onto her side. Her chest heaving wildly as she tried desperately to steady her breathing. _

"_Give this to me Bella." Bella gasped at his voice in her ear. He had not left. He brushed her wild mahogany hair away from her fevered neck and began to adorn the heated flesh with kisses as he snaked his arm across her waist, pulling her closer, fingers slithering for the hem line of her slip._

_Her thighs rubbed together in anticipation. She'd been ready and waiting for so long. He would find a warm welcome there. _

"_Please." she moaned, now unable to ignore the slick heat in her core or the solidness of his manhood against her back. _

_She could feel the sculpted muscles of the chest her back was pressed against. She could smell the smokey, woodsy scent of Carlisle mingled with the soft peppery scent of their sex. _

_Of her sex. _

_She rose her legs and clenched them tightly. She was desperate for a feeling she'd never felt before. But she knew she needed it. And if he made her she would beg for it. _

"_Please!" She repeated as his fingers hooked themselves into her simple cotton panties. Exposing her dripping core to the cooler air of the room. She moaned. _

"_Ah!"_

"_Shhh," He whispered soothingly in her ear, although his breath seemed just as irregular as her own. His hand finally slid over her hips, crossing over front to the small path of hair above where she wanted him. _

_Where she needed him the most. _

"_Carlisle!" And his fingers left trails of flames wherever they skimmed. _

"_I know." He cooed softly into her ear. He tilted his head back slowly and took a deep breath of the musk filled air. And grinned with his heavy eyelids nearly shut in ecstasy. "I can smell it." _

_He pressed his head back into the crook of her neck and watched for it. The hand, he'd trapped between Bella and the mattress had now taken hold of her breast and worried one taut nipple mercilessly, while his other finger dipped teasingly slowly into slick, wet heat. _

_She screamed and he pressed his lips to hers. Her mouth opening wider to allow his tongue to caress hers with every pleasured moan to pass her lips. _

_His fingers stroked the petals of her sex and her groaned at every mewl and whimper she released. _

_"I won't leave you this way." He promised his middle finger sliding in her hot wet heat. _

_ She thrashed and begged as he pumped the finger slowly. Her head thrown back over his own shoulder as he rocked against her, all the while never stopping in his pace, stopping just before her thin virginal barrier before slipping out just creep back in. _

_It was a tortuously slow pace that left Bella mad with every stoke. _

_It wasn't deep enough. It wasn't fast enough. _

_ "More." She panted. Her smaller hand pressed his harder into her slick sheathe and her eyes rolled into the back of her head as his thumb rolled against the sensitive bundle of nerves that she'd never managed to ever make feel quite this good. _

_She was so close.  
_

_ 'Bella' _

_**Bella**_

**Bella**

"Bella"

Bella shot from the mattress like a rocket. The scent of her dreams activity still clear in her senses and the phantoms of his touches still lingering on her warm flesh.

"Bella." The voice repeated, Bella raked a hand through her messy brown hair and followed the source of the voice with squinted eyes. Sleep left her so disoriented.

This dream had left her so disoriented.

"Jasper?" Bella whispered brokenly as if he'd just torn her heart to shreds. She wanted nothing more to go back to sleep.

His eyes were warmer now than they'd been this morning but countenance only revealed inner turmoil and what appeared to be a great emotional struggle. He'd never outright judge her, but knowing was enough.

And it made Bella burn with shame every time his sympathetic stares were cast in her direction.

"Edward is home."

* * *

I know right? What a c-block.

Sooo?! This was like 11 pages on Word so please, please, please for the love of Stephenie Meyer tell me what you thought. I will leave a more in depth explanation of my thought process of this on my LiveJournal. So don't forget to check it out!

Are you okay with the Jasperella friendship? The close call? What did you think of Creepy!Esme? You have the same dreams as Bella? Oh yeah, me too.

Your review will really help and motivate me! Maybe some feedback will help me get the next chapter out faster and preferably not in a month!?

Love you!

-- Rhyan.


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